Hey there, Reader!
It’s been a minute since you last heard from me, and my apologies for that. Life has been doing what it does, and I’ve had some great new things going on, too.
First, I’m still consulting and have a couple of amazing clients with whom I really love working. Second, I accepted a position as a fulltime teaching professor (associate professor, actually) at the University of Minnesota Hubbard School of Journalism & Mass Communication this past fall. I currently teach courses in integrated marketing campaigns and strategic communications research, and let me tell you, I really love being back in a classroom again. Unlike when I was a professor 10-20 years ago, I now have classes with fewer than 30 students, and I’m finding that to be fantastic (I learn their names, I feel less like I’m performing, I don’t have to manage a big staff of T.A.s, etc.). I also enjoy being on campus more – there’s nothing like a college campus buzzing with excitement in the fall. It’s all very "Rushmore"/"Love Story"/"When Harry Met Sally"/"Gilmore Girls" (insert falling leaves and young people in sweaters and backpacks walking in the speckled sunshine). 🍁☕️
What HAS been tough is my office situation, which is a very small room that I’m sharing with two other women (who are also friendly, welcoming, wonderful, chatty and have a lot of students coming in to see them all the time because of these good attributes) with no room for dividers or privacy. It gets loud.
If you know me, you might be surprised to hear I’m a pretty serious introvert. Yes, I usually enjoy going out and seeing people, and yes, I’m friendly and chatty in the day-to-day, but when I’m around fellow humans all day, I am completely drained and craving solitude. (I’m sure my family find it weird that the first thing I do when I get home is hide out in our den and do NY Times Connections.) I also am not great at working, doing calls or generally paying attention when other people are around. And I have an issue with noise more generally; I can really only work in silence so headphones don't do the trick. In other words, I don't get much done when I'm working on campus, and I wind up feeling edgy and anxious by the end of the day.
It’s also kind of embarrassing to admit that because I’ve been so conditioned to be the kind of person who can be flexible and get along in any environment. (You’ve probably also heard me say exactly that if you know me! Even though it’s kind of untrue and certainly sadly people pleasing!)
I can usually get around this in an office situation because most offices these days – even the “open” types – have quiet huddle rooms or phone booths, or best yet, you can just work from home. That isn’t how our building is set up. Instead, I've just hidden in the third-floor kitchen or copy room when their students show up or things get to be too much. I also spend a lot of time trying to come up with better solutions. (Meaning I lie in bed awake at night trying to figure out options while I simultaneously beat myself up about losing sleep over such an insignificant, silly problem.)
So last week, I did something that was hard for me: I asked for help.
Just before I was set to meet with a faculty administrator about how the year was going, she spotted me hiding out in the copy room (a student had entered our office to talk to my office mate about mental health issues and to give them some privacy — and avoid FERPA violations 👀 — I camped out down there). She wondered what was up, and I realized it was the perfect time to explain and ask for help and advice. Turned out she completely understood where I was coming from; as a fellow introvert, she said she would also have felt the same way. She immediately suggested we walk together to check out some of the areas designated for research studies, small group meetings and quiet exam-taking to see if I felt like they would work. Just after we met, she worked with one of our department admins to reserve those rooms for me for office hours and times when I wanted to do grading or prepare for class. She also called our tech support to get me badge access to the rooms that were locked.
I’ve only had this alone time for one day this week and already I feel better. I’m glad I drummed up the courage to ask for help. I now also feel more connected and grateful to my department because this person went out of her way to give me help. As a result, I will be able to do my job more comfortably, less distractedly and overall, more efficiently.
These good vibes are brought to you by leadership that acts and cares (and in this case, a person who was actually hired and empowered to help her colleagues). I’ve worked in other environments where asking for help did actually signal weakness and whininess. I have also heard people being called entitled or diva-like for asking for accommodations. It's honestly why it was hard to ask for help. Working in that type of culture makes everyone anxious and less productive; it also pits people against each other (breeding more anxiety and less concentration on work in a never-ending cycle of workplace toxicity).
The lesson is: If you're a leader, make it safe and easy for your people to ask for help and accommodation if they need it without fear of being shamed or stigmatized. And if you're in a position to help, do it!
Other things on my mind:
This newsletter. I’ve been thinking a lot about format, focus and what value I can offer to you, my lovely audience. Although short essays on workplace, careers and marketing advice has been my focus these past 15 or so months, 1) this is not particularly unique content – you can find a lot of other people out there doing it better than I do, 2) I now talk about these topics all the time in my teaching and consulting, which makes me feel like I might like to talk about something else here, and 3) I’ve been thinking a lot about how I might make the newsletter more focused on something more meaningful and mission-focused than marketing. Recently, I’ve enjoyed reading Diana Pierce’s new newsletter, Blooming (subscribe here), and the stories she’s told around flowers, gardening and life. It’s inspiring me to think a little more broadly about how to make this newsletter both more meaningful and valuable to you, and I'm working on it. Stay tuned.
The election. I’ve already made it pretty clear that I am enthusiastically supporting the Harris-Walz ticket because their values are a true reflection of my own (and because Trump is a dangerous wanna-be dictator whose policies will truly hurt most of us in some way — and whose hold on the Supreme Court will affect women’s and LGBTQ+ rights for decades to come). I really like my glamorous polling place – the Walker Art Center – and the energy of voting with my neighbors on Election Day, but I would also feel terrible if something happened that prevented me from voting that day. When do you vote? Do you have the option of early voting where you live?
And here are a list of recent stories that I found compelling:
🧹 What Makes Women Clean by Anne Helen Peterson, Culture Study (Oct. 2024): “…[W]omen spend more than twice as much time allocated to household work than men, even when they are single or do not have children. And getting married doesn’t split the load for women, as it theoretically would, but increases it: married women without children still do 2.3 times as much housework labor as their husbands.” Ugh. A chilling piece based on lots of good data.
🎃The Top 25 Trending Halloween costumes of 2024. My Gen X heart loves the representation of “Beetlejuice” on this list. (Long live Winona Ryder!)
🚨 If Trump Wins by C. Savage, J. Swan and M. Haberman, NY Times (Oct. 2024): A sobering but important read about what Trump and his allies promise to do when they retake office.
🏝️Thinking about moving after the election? You could be a digital nomad by Euny Hong, Washington Post (Oct. 2024). The logical follow-up to the previous story! Unfortunately, I don’t think our kids – who are currently happy and fairly well adjusted (knocking wood) – would be into being uprooted at this point in their school/social lives, but it’s nice to consider options.
Thank you so much for reading, and if you’re eligible, please get out there and vote!
Take care,
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