Hi Reader!
Ages ago, I promised I would talk about the issue of toxic positivity at work, and as I finally started writing that newsletter, I realized there are two sides of this – the perspective of the toxically positive person and the perspective of everyone else who has to deal with that person. Today I will talk about the toxically positive person. (I keep wanting to call them a toxic positivist but that’s something entirely different – and also something I dealt with a lot when I worked as a cultural studies researcher in a field with mostly social scientists! Google "positivist." Hahahaha — academic humor!)
What am I talking about when I talk about a person who brings toxic positivity to the workplace? My layperson definition: A person who is toxically positive is always looking at the bright side of a situation, even if the situation is patently bad, hopeless or harmful. A toxically positive person’s optimism and penchant for a glass half full can minimize the emotions, pain and hurt of others around them who are not feeling only good vibes.
Toxic positivity often accompanies the need to control or micromanage every little detail. In a hiring freeze and can’t replace your senior digital strategist? No worries! You can log in and set up all those email journeys! Lost your creative director? No big deal, you have the know-how to oversee art and creative direction for the big fall campaign! Lost the star of your next video? Not a big deal! You can jump in front of camera and say what needs to be said! Maybe you’ll edit it, too, just to make sure it’s perfect! 😃😃😃🙃
Being positive and having a can-do attitude is a generally a good thing – don’t get me wrong. But you can see how these traits also can lead to:
- Burnout
- The ability to ask for or find help when you need it
- Your team growing to hate you for not believing they can help/do their actual jobs
- Shoddy work (believe it or not, you probably aren’t an expert at All The Things and shouldn’t be doing them all)
Toxic positivity also blinds you to the suffering of others, including your organization or company. If you unquestioningly believe that things will always turn out for the best, you aren’t inclined to make necessary change when the situation calls for it. You also are not showing the empathy required to let others know they can trust you and that you’re a good human.
Toxic positivity can make you set completely unrealistic goals and expectations. This is especially true of a leader who might be oblivious to the issues and setbacks some of their colleagues and employees may experience in their unrealistic quests for domination. You set yourself and everyone else up for failure (or just immunity to goals more generally) when you set crazy out-of-reach goals and try to cheerlead your way to them without strategy, resources and acknowledgement of your current circumstances or pain points.
What’s the cure? I’d love to say that a healthy dose of self-awareness is the cure. That was the case for me (plus, maybe a little more experience working with and managing others). Yes, I used to bring a little toxic positivity to the workplace, and I’m really sorry for it now. I think it was a way to cope with shitty circumstances that were beyond my control, and the only thing I could control was my (overly shiny) attitude.
So many of us are taught that a positive attitude overcomes all, without thought about how that mentality affects others or without regard for the systems of oppression that exist within the greater system of work and culture. If you know and have the trust of a toxically positive person, you might be able to have a little talk with them and maybe you will even break through. You might not, though. I recently tried this with one of the most toxically positive people I’ve ever known, and that person was simply not having my Negative Nellie-ness at all. I suspect it’s so ingrained into their persona at this point (and they probably think it’s worked well, based on how successful they’ve been in the workplace over the years) that there’s little hope for change.
But don’t give up! Anyone can change. (See, there’s that positivity shining through. At least I can recognize it. 😉)
Story of the Week:
A fascinating look at the methods and philosophies of the most successful gaming company out there now (and as the parent of a kid who's obsessed with "Fortnite," this story had an added level of intrigue for me):
​How perfectly can the world be simulated? The New Yorker (April 2024)
Thank you so much for reading, Reader!
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